To win our copy of ‘The Universal Sigh’ all you need to do is leave us a comment at the bottom of this page, this will ask for your name and email address in the process. This is not some ploy to get you onto a mailing list, as we don’t have one and we will not be giving/selling your contact details to any third parties either.
The competition will close at midday GMT (Greater Manchester Time) on Sunday the 3rd of April. After this time a winner will be picked at random and notified on Monday the 4th.
PHOTOS FROM THE MANCHESTER DISTRIBUTION
AND THE WINNERS ARE……………..
Horses
Greetings from Barbados!
THIS JUST MADE MY DAY. I was DJing at my college radio station and looking for something to say to my views and I found this! VERY exciting!
It’s a grand ball reunion
Hello!
Open your mouth wide
A universal sigh!!
Just to see what if…
Please consider me! I live in a region where the paper was not available!
I need this!
Captain Birds-Eye never warned me of the dangers of fishing.
U may save me..
When I am king you will be last against the wall…
AIR SUPERIORITY
I know it is unkind, and I have had many internal struggles with myself as to why I do this, but I just love to make people feel paranoid. It’s mostly just simple stuff. I will be chatting with a friend, or even somebody I have just met in the pub or at work, and before I know it I will start doing subtle things to make them feel uneasy. As I say, it’s mostly simple things like narrowing my eyes slightly and looking at them a little askance while they talk.
Sometimes however this is not enough.
Somewhere between ‘occasionally’ and ‘quite often’ I will carefully decide on a specific location – the ¬chin, nose, ears and hair are typically the most effective areas – and I will repeatedly flick and dart my eyes to that same spot throughout our conversation. It does not take long before they are visibly uneasy. As they start to rub their chins and rustle their hair, this feeling of buoyancy and warmth floods through me. I am well aware, fundamentally, that it’s only the body’s chemicals perversely rewarding the mind’s actions. Yet, despite all the guilt I later go through, it always makes me feel utterly wonderful and propels me through my day or evening.
Before going out with my friends on a night out or meeting with people to do something during the day, I have a mantra that I repeat to myself over and over, sometimes for tens of minutes at a time. Before leaving my room I look at myself seriously in the mirror and repeat this mantra until I am convinced that the purity and sincerity and good intentions of my words have sunk in. It goes like this:
Making people paranoid is cruel. Making people paranoid is mean. Making people paranoid is cruel. Making people paranoid is mean.
For the past two to three years there is something I have been doing every chance I get, which isn’t very often I am both pleased and afraid to say, that gives me more pleasure in a single instant than anything else the world of induced-paranoia has yet to reveal to me. If the satisfaction from making a person feel paranoid on the subject of their appearance is my daily coffee: then this is surly my heroin. I can only do it when I am alone, and I can only do it when I am in a village, town or city where I am unknown. Moreover, Fortune must present to me the man – for it is always, without fail, a man – at the crown of his ladder: for I have discovered that seldom is a man more paranoid than when a grinning stranger starts climbing up after him.
really wanna check this out.
Love this album soo much!
the only newspaper i’ll ever read!
a work of art disguised as a newspaper!
Yeasssss!!!! I won! Woop!
Surely nepotism mr yorke ;]
gutted
Thanks for the opportunity anyway fellas, congrats to the very lucky winners.
Zack Fletcher is my boyfriend and he is the winner! aaaand Radiohead is the best.